Ten Tips On Using Relationship Quizzes To Understand Yourself And Your Partner

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There are tons of quizzes online (below is a list and links to a number of self-assessment instruments you can use free of charge) and in magazines that can help you better understand yourself and your relationships, but you need to know a few things to get the maximum benefit. Here are a few tips and suggestions:

  • Remember most of these quizzes are not scientific, so the results should be treated as fun, and a little informative, and not necessarily a true reflection of you and your relationships.
  • Always apply critical thinking to any of the results — i.e. ask “Is this really reflective of me (or the other person). Numbers make things appear more accurate than they really are.
  • Do the quizzes with your partner. Use them as a basis to discuss things, and not as a basis for beating each other up, or arguing, or blaming.
  • Some quizzes purport to assess personality disorders or mental issues. These can be dangerous since only a professional is in a position to give you a valid assessment of mental problems. Best to stay away from these.
  • Self-help and quizzes should never be used as a substitute for professional mental health or relationship help.
  • Treat the quizzes as a fun exercise, rather than thinking they will tell you something you don’t already know. YOU are the ultimate determiner of the accuracy of the results.
  • Quizzes with more questions generally are more accurate. The shorter the quiz, the less useful.
  • Focus not only on the results, but your responses to each individual question. The value of quizzes is often to stimulate your thinking about yourself, so pay attention to your thought processes when you answer each question.
  • If you do a quiz with a partner, treat their results as confidential. Don’t share or gossip about their responses or results. It creates bad feelings and is often destructive.
  • Never use quiz results to justify yourself to your partner or blame your partner. Use them to open up discussion between the two. TALK, and talk in civil ways with an open heart and mind.
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