Category: FAQ-Communication & Conflict
A lot of the conflict in our lives comes from HOW we communicate with others. Ineffective communication creates conflict even in situations where there is no real “conflict issue” or disagreement about a substantive issue. Poor communication causes hurt feelings, anger, frustration, and tends to erode relationships, sometimes to the point where the relationship is not fixable. Many times we call these situations personality conflicts, when in fact they are a result of poor communication.
Here’s the rundown on communication approaches that are guaranteed to create unnecessary conflict, and damage relationships at home and at work. They are based on the book, Conflict Prevention In The Workplace — Using Cooperative Communication, by Robert Bacal, but apply to communication and conflict in and out of work, and in intimate and family relationships.
What are person centered comments?
Person centered communication is just one of many communication techniques that makes conversations volatile and unpleasant. When you discuss a topic with someone, you can talk about the topic or issue (which is good), or you can talk about the…
What Are Infallibility Comments? How do they damage communication?
Infallibility comments are questions or statements that sound as if the speaker believes s/he couldn’t possibly be wrong. When people believe that a speaker is arrogant, “high and mighty” or believes in their own infallibility, there is a tendency to…
What are past centered comments? Focusing on the past destroys effective communication
Past centered comments are comments that focus on what has happened in the past rather than focusing on what is happening at the moment, or the issue at hand. We’ve all run into people who seem to live life through…
What is inappropriate reassurance and inappropriate positive thinking?
When communication really works between two people, each person feels the other understands his or her situation, perceptions and feelings. That’s one reason why advanced listening skills are so important. In some situations, though, well meaning attempts by one person…
What are defensiveness causing questions?
There’s no argument that the use of questions is a critical part of give and take conversation, and questions are a great way to show you are interested in the other person. They are essential to the dialogue process. However,…
What are lengthy attempts to persuade?
When you take a position and advocate for it (try to persuade another person to adopt it or agree with it), there’s a point where your attempts to change the other person’s mind will backfire, and create more resistance to…
