Category: FAQ-Communication & Conflict
A lot of the conflict in our lives comes from HOW we communicate with others. Ineffective communication creates conflict even in situations where there is no real “conflict issue” or disagreement about a substantive issue. Poor communication causes hurt feelings, anger, frustration, and tends to erode relationships, sometimes to the point where the relationship is not fixable. Many times we call these situations personality conflicts, when in fact they are a result of poor communication.
Here’s the rundown on communication approaches that are guaranteed to create unnecessary conflict, and damage relationships at home and at work. They are based on the book, Conflict Prevention In The Workplace — Using Cooperative Communication, by Robert Bacal, but apply to communication and conflict in and out of work, and in intimate and family relationships.
What are extended attempts to win? (Communication that fails)
Attempts To Win an Argument Often Backfire and Create Poor Communication You may be familiar with the phrase “For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction”, taken from the world of physics. The same principle applies to communication,…
What is unsolicited advice? Why is it a communication killer?
Good intentions don’t always make effective communication or better relationships. You might mean well. You want to help. You offer advice to someone without being asked. They get mad. You get mad because the other person isn’t appreciating your effort….
What are blaming comments and why is the blame game pointless and destructive?
We live in a society that seems to value finding people to blame when things go wrong rather than to identify how to prevent things from going wrong again in the future. So, it’s not surprising that individuals often got…
What are overstatements and generalizations?
Blatant generalizations are essentially “overstatements”, or exaggerations, and usually contain words like always, never, every time, etc. Apart from the fact that these kinds of generalizations are almost always inaccurate, untruthful, or plain wrong, their use tends to provoke other…
What is guilt induction? How does it create conflict and poor relationships
People tend to resist attempts by others to manipulate their emotions and feelings. Guilt-induction attempts are efforts to make someone feel guilty or “less than”, often in an attempt to shame them into going along or changing. While guilt induction…
What is histrionic communication and behavior? (overdramatization)
Do you want to learn what to replace firestarter communication with? Conflict Prevention In The Workplace – Using Cooperative Communication teaches you what kinds of communication you need to eliminate, AND what to replace them with — techniques to reduce…
Hot words and hot phrases create unnecessary conflict
Some words and phrases are so emotionally loaded for most people in a culture that they tend to create emotional conversations and feelings of upset and insult. Some are obvious, like the use of words such as racist, idiot, or…
What is Kitchen Sinking? Why is it problematic communication? Anger Provoking and Unfair
What is Kitchen Sinking? Kitchen sinking communication is familiar to most of us, since probably all of us have been on the receiving end of it. And unfortunately, most of us have used this destructive form of communication now and…
Innuendo – A Conflict Starter and A Cowardly Approach To Communication
Innuendo is defined as follows: A veiled or hinted reflection on the character or reputation of a person It falls into the category of passive-aggressive communication because a) it is indirect and b) it is usually used to insult or…
What is the command syntax problem (or use of the imperative)?
What do the following have in common? Take out the garbage Telephone Mr. Smith and get his order Fix the problem before you go home for the day Simple, really. These forms of language involve the use of the imperative,…
What is passive-aggressive behavior? A common but destructive communication approach
Passive aggressive communication is the term used to describe communication and behavior that is a) indirect and b) contains messages that are driven by negative emotions, maliciousness or are otherwise intended to attack someone. Passive aggressive communication is not limited…
