When most people talk and interact, they don’t usually think consciously about what they are trying to achieve, the kind of conversation they want, and think about those things from the perspective of the other person. But the truth is there ARE different kinds and types of conversations. When we are consciously clear about what we want as a conversational outcome, and the kind of conversation we want, we are able to a) work intentionally to create what we want, b) consider what the other person wants, and c) be better communicators.
For example, here are a few different conversation types:
Debate: Two people intentionally taking opposites sides for the purposes of stimulating discussion and thought.
Argument: Two people taking opposite sides for the purpose of winning, and causing the other person, or an audience, to support their position.
Dialogue: Two people talking to understand each other, and to create shared meaning, often so that solutions to problems will be acceptable to both parties.
Clearly, how you conduct yourself (for example, what you say, how you talk in terms of tone, etc) are (or should) be different depending on the type of communication you are involved in.
By being clear about your own intent, you can avoid moving into a mode of communication that is ineffective for what you want to create. For example, the methods you might use to win an argument are almost certain to destroy a dialogue.
Understanding different types of conversations can greatly enhance your communication skills and make you a better conversationalist. For instance, knowing the distinctions between debate, argument, and dialogue allows you to adapt your approach based on the desired outcome. By being mindful of your intentions and adjusting your communication style accordingly, you can avoid ineffective methods and foster more productive interactions.
